So yesterday's absence was due to it being a travelling day. 4 plus hours driving through the amazing Kananaskis National park - the long and winding and spectacular scenic route to the Calgary airport from Canmore. Wow. There is not much else to say. The landscape is so mindblowingly beautiful it's hard to even keep a conversation going whilst you're driving. So much gratitude to young daughter for the awesome limousine service. Of course, my grandson was perfect through out. There is the second thing to be grateful for. The strength with which the love in your heart wells up inside is so powerful - it makes you wonder how there is any trouble in the world. It leaves me weak knee-ed and happy, and loving .. and it's the most amazing feeling ever.
It's interesting. Honey and I are in the midst of some of the most difficult times we have ever gone through. When coming to the computer to write I thought how the hell will I ever pull myself out of this enough to write. In Canmore, rather than be in the present whilst with my daughter - I fretted and stressed about what was back home. I can't blame anyone for that but myself. So I am grateful for the moments that I did have that were there, focused, about love and babies and daughters. It was wonderful. What I began with though about this being interesting - before I sat to write .. I thought myself somewhat consumed by anger, worry, stress.... but sharing about my daughter and grandson, and the mountains, has softened that. So gratitude isn't hard to find. Yet I let the heaviness of other things drag me down. Truth be told it's why my blog has been so uninspired of late (to me anyway).
Some times too, the swings between this happiness and love with my daughter and grandson (sometimes even Honey), and how that bangs up against what's going on here at home now.... it's exhausting to live so much stuff at once. But I gotta keep motoring, keep putting it out there....good or bad... I will keep looking for the gratitude, it keeps me sane.
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